


Life in overwatch

by Castor_Is_Dead, Spicyfrog



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Genji Shimada is a Little Shit, Hana "D.Va" Song Is a Little Shit, Hanzo Has a Sweet Tooth, M/M, Trans Lúcio Correia dos Santos, this family is a mess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-18 07:22:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21823789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Castor_Is_Dead/pseuds/Castor_Is_Dead, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spicyfrog/pseuds/Spicyfrog
Summary: Bunch of short story promts/ideas made by a couple of crackheads who were to bored in class.
Relationships: Fareeha "Pharah" Amari/Angela "Mercy" Ziegler, Jesse McCree/Hanzo Shimada, Lúcio Correia dos Santos/Genji Shimada, Reaper | Gabriel Reyes/Soldier: 76 | Jack Morrison, others
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15





	1. Family game night

**Author's Note:**

> JacobTheQueer: This was a mistake totally worth making.

Every night, once a month members of both talon and overwatch come together. It wasn't to fight, oh no, it was a simple truce between the two. One which the two groups would sit in the another's base with games and snacks. Well it was like that, until someone (Mccree), thought it was a good idea to bring in monopoly. The night started like any other meet up (or as Hana called them, family game night), Jack and Gabe were making bets left and right on who would winning. Hana and Genji were shit eating grins as the cheated stealthily, though everyone knew, they never did win. Hanzo and Jesse were flirting discreetly while sombra tried to get Amélie to join the fun. Angela and Fareeha sat in a far corner incase anyone tried anything they was there to break it up. They played a few rounds of Mariocart, Card Against Humanity, and Clue.

Then Mccree pulled out Monopoly and shit went to hell. Hanzo had landed in jail and was placed in a cardboard jail cell till he could leave. Hana held boardwalk and park place along with half of the other's fake money. Genji held the other half (but with a very real monopoly marriage they shared the money), the cyborg sprinkled the money over Hana as she made a show of rubbing herself with the fake bills. Sombra lay on the floor to far in dept to be aloud to play while Amélie silently prayed they would die. In the back Jesse was cursing in another language and regretting ever choosing this cursed game. Then things got worse when Fareeha left the corner to narrate gameplay. Hana had started to auction off board walk to which Gabe and Jack kept raising each other to the point they got so annoyed they pulled out their weapons and threaten to shoot if the other didn't give up. Angela sighed and left, this was far beyond her job description. Lúcio entered the common room only to turn around in one swift movement and a simple 'nope.'

Genji collapsed in a fit of laughter before struggling to get up and chase after the frog medic. Hana had declared a divorce and that she would keep all that she and her "husband" shared. Eventually Hanzo was taken out of jail and while no one notice, bought boardwalk from under Morrison's and Reyes' noses. Hana was declared the winner that night. Lúcio refused to speak to anyone who participated in "family game night" for three days.


	2. Brazilian body wax(?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Have you ever bathed in hot wax and had it peeled off your disgusting, humid/dry body? Lúcio does it, constantly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no regrets.

Normally, when you find hair on your body you get a razer and just shave it, right? Not Lúcio, he likes to bathe in scorching hot wax and have his boyfriend rip it off his delicate skin. Enough with this, lets get onto the chapter.

Now, it was a normal day, as normal as it could get in the watchpoint, except Lúcio found some hair in his no no spots and under the armpittos. Now he’s a simple man, happy and content, but this will not do. So he got up and got as much wax as he could, heated it up and dumped into a bath tub, goin’ nude and just sitting in it. He sat there in the scorching, purple wax, moving his twink body deeper into the wax. But he didn’t let his hair touch it.

Genji eventually came in to check on his boyfriend, because he’s been in wax for over an hour. “...what are you doing?”

“Bathing, in wax” he responded, shifting his sweaty and waxy body. “Yea, why are you bathing in wax?” 

“If a man wants to be as smooth as a babies bottome, let the man be smooth and do not question it!” Lúcio retorted, sitting up and getting out. “Rip this wax off of me.”

“Wouldn’t that hurt..?” He went over to the waxy man and grabbed a section. “I’ve been through worse, this is nothing.” Genji hesitated before ripping the wax off Lúcio’s back, there was no wince, crying, or screaming. “Are you ok..?” Genji asked.

“Yea..” Lúcio let out one single tear of pain, but it only made him stronger. “Keep going, this only enhances my power.”

Genji sighed and ripped the rest of the wax off, Lúcio’s body was now the definition of red. All he did was put on his clothes and gave Genji a kiss on the cheek before leaving the bathroom. Genji sat there questioning, the first question was:

“What the fuck?”


	3. Definitely NOT a Giant Chocolate Chip Pancake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo's sweet tooth is so bad it attacks breakfast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JacobTheQueer: this is probably starting to get out of hand, I have no will left but this.

Not many people knew this, but Hanzo had a very big sweet tooth. Today was his day to make Breakfast for the team, it was less of breakfast and mostly consisted of chocolate. Hanzo made one giant pancake that would be cut to be several more pancakes.

Genji took his sword from the sheath and cut the towering breakfast food into properly sized disks. That's when he noticed a small spot that was darker than the rest. He poked it and it turned out to be gooey, he knew what it was. It was chocolate, Genji turned to glare at his brother. Hanzo shifted uncomfortably, "hanzo... did you put chocolate in the pancake?" Hanzo took off running followed swiftly by the younger shimada and his weapon. "Hannnnzzzo!!!" Hanzo reached his room and quickly slammed and locked the door. 

Genji banged on the door for a few minutes before running off to find the window that was connected hanzo's room to the open air. Genji opened the high window and jumped in. Hanzo screamed as Genji crouched down and ran in his brother's direction, cornering him. "What's wrong hanzo? Dont you recognize me? Stay away from my pancakes, bitch."  
Hanzo rocked himself in the corner, he never went near Genji' pancakes ever again.


	4. Cocoa Powder Cravings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That feeling when your pregnant and all you can eat is a giant tu of cocoa powder. Why would I know this when I was never pregnant? Magic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you couldn’t already tell this entire series is just straight crack. I’ll try to make this one more ‘serious’

The sun just started going down, only a small sliver poking out of the closed curtains. The curtains made the living room somewhat dark, the sound of the tv drowning out anything else that would have been heard. 

Lúcio sat infront of the tv, gripping his spoon and small tubawear with little force, shoveling large amounts of the sacred powder into his mouth like he was in war and the doctor was going to saw his legs off. He surprisingly only choked a few times on the dust particles and how much he was shoving into his mouth.

Genji came to check on him a couple of times, questioning why his pregnant boyfriend was just eatinf straight cocoa powder. The only answer he’d ever get was either a grunt or an “I’m not hungry for anything else.”

He’s tried offering him real food, but he either didn’t want it or ended up throwing it back up in the morning. It was like cocoa powder was Lúcio’s life form right now.

Genji could try to stop it, but whenever his boyfriend gets angry it always ends up in him being trapped in Lúcio’s dummy thicc thighs. He doesn’t complain thou, who wouldn’t want to be caught in his dummy thicc thighs?


	5. This Guys is My Personal Cheerleader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lúcio roots for his adopted overwatch sister during a livestream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JacobTheQueer: and the local crackheads have returned.

"...and this," a heavy sigh is heard from the small mecha pilot. "Is Lúcio, my personal cheerleader and his boyfriend here to cheer him on." Lúcio jumped up and fell into the splits. A single tear fell from his face. Hana winced and genji rushed to his side. "Dont worry, this only enhances my power."

Genji non the less picked him up and put him on his feet. "Well let's play a game now." The screen showed the game that was picked was fortnite. "I've heard great-"  
"Woohoo go d.va!!" Lúcio could be heard in the background as hana played and answered questions on her livestream. As the gameplay progressed the background of the recording showed genji and Lúcio fake fighting with pool noodles. Hana sighed, "that's the end of this livestream. Wouldn't want any witnesses to a murder." And the stream ended.


End file.
